Exes, love or hate them we’ve all got them. Ex tarot spreads feature questions and advice all about our exes. Whether this is if they’ll come back to us or return, what our exes have taught us or how we can heal from them.
The spreads we have gathered in this article can help you process, move on and flourish in your life now whether that is with or without your ex.
How To Use Ex Tarot Spreads
Using ex spreads can be very similar to reading other spreads: a tarot reader shuffles their cards whilst they pick out one card for each question listed in the spread.
They place the card facedown where indicated and then proceed to turn over and interpret each card. However tarot spreads about our exes can have some uniquely tricky factors to contend with.
Firstly there is the issue of privacy and overstepping boundaries in tarot that you should consider for yourself where you stand with this.
There is also the tendency in tarot to accidentally read what we wish to see. This happens by projecting our desires onto the cards rather than reading the true meanings of them.
Often this is done subconsciously and is very hard for the tarot reader to detect.
This is because there is room for nuance and therefore an almost endless possibility of meanings within tarot. In the case of ex tarot spreads one example could look like a reader wrongly seeing their ex coming back to them because that is what they hope for.
However in reality the reading could actually be discussing the need for the tarot reader to heal and move on from their ex. A good way you can avoid this shortfall is to imagine you are reading for someone else.
Ask yourself: How would I interpret this card for my friend? This allows us to be more subjective and keep our hopes from wrongly projecting onto the spread.
There is a spread listed below called 'Ex Hope Projection' which is really helpful if you notice you are doing this when reading your ex spreads. Use this spread first so you can set yourself up for success and then go on to reading the spread of your choosing.
1. Will My Ex Come Back? Tarot Spread
Often the questions that professional tarot readers hate hearing the most but still many people require answers to it: "will my ex come back?" or "will we reunite?"
Let this spread guide you to find out if your ex will occupy not only your past but your future too.
- Why do I long for my ex?
- Will they return?
- How can I give myself what they used to give me/What I am longing for from them which I can provide to myself?
2. EX-pectation Vs Reality Tarot Spread
We often look back on our past with rose-tinted glasses and our exes are no exception to this. But with rose glasses it is impossible to see the red flags for what they are.
This spread gives us a truly comprehensive view of our ex, highlights the issues and reveals the truth to us about them.
- Why do I look back at this relationship so fondly?
- Do my memories provide an accurate account of our time together?
- What were the red flags I can see now in hindsight?
- How can I spot and avoid these in future partners?
3. Does My Ex Miss Me? Tarot Spread
Is your ex still thinking of you? Use this spread to find out and be guided in what you should do about it.
- Them: choose a card to represent them and place it face up here. If you’re unsure what to pick the Knight of Cups works great.
- Me: choose a card to represent yourself and place it face up here.
- Are they thinking about me?
- Do they miss me?
- Do they want to be with me?
- Do I want to be with them?
4. Ex Hope Projection Tarot Spread
Sometimes it is very difficult to read tarot for ourselves when we are strongly biased in wanting only one specific answer. We may feel frustration when we receive cards that do not show us what we want to see.
This spread helps us process these emotions when we feel them arising in the ex tarot spreads we have read. Use this one to recenter your mind frame so that other ex spreads you do will be clearer and more accurate for you.
- How can I notice myself projecting my hopes into a tarot spread?
- What should I do once I have noticed these tendencies?
- Why am I asking my tarot cards when I am so invested in one outcome?
- How can I reframe the questions so I receive better advice about manifesting the outcome I want?
- What steps can I take to avoid projecting my hopes for my ex into future spreads I try?
5. Ex, Get Out Of My Head Tarot Spread
If you can’t stop thinking about your ex then this spread is for you. Whether you want them back or are hurt and irritated by them it can be exhausting carrying this emotional baggage around with you.
This spread helps get your ex out of your head by revealing actions you can take that put you back in control of your thoughts.
- Why does my ex occupy my mind so much?
- What am I missing which I can find through other paths?
- How can I distract myself in a positive way?
- How can I recenter my thoughts back around my own life when they drift to my ex?
- What can I do in the moment when I am considering reaching out to them?
- What activities will serve me better than thinking of my ex?
6. What My Ex Taught Me Tarot Spread
The exes of our pasts have a lot to teach us if we take the time to process it. Often our exes will be honest with us just before leaving our lives because they have nothing to lose by doing so.
Loved ones are often biased and love us unconditionally and many of our friends just want to have a good time and not give us brutal honesty that can bring down the occasion. Meaning the parting words of our ex can be understood by us as a glimpse of our true selves.
This spread guides us through accepting these words, learning from what is useful and healing from anything hurtful our exes said.
- How did the parting words of my ex initially make me feel?
- Looking back, what have I now realized about my reaction to those words?
- What did my ex teach me?
- What parts of this conversation could be constructive and useful?
- What parts were meant only to be hurtful/cruel and are their problem, not mine?
- How can I heal from the cruel things they said?
